Dear Editor,
With April being Cancer Awareness Month, I was asked to share my story, my Journey as a Cancer Survivor. I am no writer, but then again, how many of us are? So here goes – I will give it my best shot.
My Journey began in June of 2016, and when I got the news, you could have knocked me over with a feather. It all started with my mammogram, held every two years. First, I got there for the appointment and the machine had broken down. I went back a week later and had the mammogram, but then they decided I needed an ultrasound. No one was there that day to do the test, so I had to go back again for the ultrasound. Then they said I needed a biopsy, so there was another appointment for that.
Through all this, cancer never entered my mind. I thought this all was routine. How wrong was I. One thing about this Journey, it is one that I had not planned, and now that I was on it, I wondered – where is it going to take me, how do I prepare, what do I need, and how long will it last?
As my doctor said – it basically takes a year out of your life. And once the journey started, everything happens so fast; you have no time to worry, or at least that was the way it was in my case.
My first concern was how to tell my loved ones, my family and friends. You are not looking for sympathy and don’ t want to cause any undue worry.
Some people know how to handle it and some do not. Some people want to know and some do not. And now in hindsight I get that, because like them, I didn’t know much about this subject at the time either.
We all know someone who has had cancer or is dealing with it at this moment, and others have lost loved ones to this disease. I for one lost my dad to cancer in 2000 and a very dear friend in 2015.
Since I was diagnosed, I now have a whole new perspective to the disease. For those who have never been on this journey, it is hard to fully comprehend what is going on with that person and what it fully means, through no fault of their own. I was one of those people and like the old saying: you don’t get it ‘til you get it.
This was a journey I knew nothing about, both physically and emotionally.
As I said before everything happened so fast – I was diagnosed in June and had surgery in July. Luckly, it was caught early and had not spread, if you can use the words lucky and cancer in the same sentence. Then came my first chemo treatment on Sept. 2 at the Cross Cancer Clinic, plus all the consults in between.
Nothing to this, right? WRONG.
About four days after my first treatment, the side effects started. At first you don’t know if this is normal or is something else going on. Im made so many phone calls to the Cancer Clinic talking to Registered Nurses about your concerns. The support from the Cross Cancer Clinic is amazing. They try their best to address your concerns.
For me it was a lonely journey to start. I did not know anyone personally who had gone through this that I could talk to. I knew of some ladies casually but didn’t want to burden them with my problems.
But that all changed with my second treatment at the Barrhead Chemotherapy Clinic. The staff at the clinic were wonderful – friendly, caring, compassionate and knowledgeable. Now I had someone to talk to and help me with all my concerns, and to them, I am very thankful. After treatment, you feel bad for probably the first two weeks, then things start to improve, then it is time for your next treatment. So I would tell the ladies “It is time for you to knock my feet out from under me again.”
The side effects from the chemo are not all pleasant, both physically and emotionally. Like waking up in the night with a throat so sore, and sucking on a popsicle at 3 a.m. in the morning hoping it will help (it did some). Or having your taste buds messing with. Most food did not taste the same, what you used to like now tasted awful, or had a bad taste. Even water tasted bad.
Emotionally, you are on a roller coaster – one minute scared, then mad, then angry and then bitter, and then you are okay again. Some days I was on a short fuse, or I would be crying when I would hear on TV anything having to do with cancer. I am thankful to my husband for putting up with all I put him through.
And yes, during chemo my hair did fall out, or at least I had my head shaved. I went to the salon to have it shaved off. I don’t know who felt worse, me or my hairdresser. Before that when it was falling out, my head hurt, but after that it was okay. The only people to see my bald head was my hairdresser, my husband and some medical personnel. I thought I’d save the rest of the people from such a sight.
Another thing while doing chemo: you should not make any major decisions, such as banking, paying bills or purchases. I made a few boo boos, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed.
After my final treatment in December, I had to wait about a month to start radiation. I had 15 treatments in Edmonton. I was fortunate to stay at the Sorrentino’s Compassion House — a wonderful place to stay, excellent support staff, great company and amazing volunteers to take you back and forth for your treatments.
Something I learned there is that for all the ladies dealing with breast cancer, no two of us had the same kind of side effects or treatment. I thought all breast cancer was the same — who knew?
For me the journey was hard – no two ways about it. The chemo was very difficult and in comparison, radiation was a cake walk . . but that is not to say that it is the same for everyone. Everyone is different and relates to the journey differently.
When you are first diagnosed, you think “Wow. Now what? Why me and how could this happen?” Your emotions take over. For me, I was not scared, I guess because I didn’t know what lie ahead. I kept a positive attitude and just took it one day at a time. Don’t get me wrong, there were days when I would think, “I can’t do this anymore, why me?” But you do get through it.
Anyone dealing with cancer should reach for help. Any ladies dealing with this disease, please consider going to a meeting of the Barrhead and Area Cancer Support Group. Both our facilitators are Cancer survivors who are very knowledgeable, caring and compassionate. And everything said at these meetings is completely confidential. I started going since its inception and have learned a lot. In fact, I could have benefited very much more from this group when I began my journey. Even though I have completed the medical part of the journey, the emotional one remains, and this group is what I need now. At first I wasn’t going to go, I thought I didn’t need their help, but as someone pointed out, maybe I could show others going through this that they can do this and there is help, whether it is just talking to someone or just knowing you are not alone and others do care.
I would thank my husband, family and friends who were there for me, without you people I don’t know what I would have done. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So to all of you out there dealing with cancer, my heart goes out to you and your loved ones. Be positive, let other people help you and do not be afraid to ask for help. This is a journey you do not have to take alone, as I found out.
I was one of the fortunate ones – I am a Cancer Survivor.
Shiela Patterson
